Ladies, I am not here to state the obvious. We all know that just because we have a crush on someone, doesn’t mean that we are compatible with them.

The science of compatibility is interesting. Some factors that contribute to compatibility are obvious, while others are not obvious enough for us to predict. Sometimes we only realize something which makes us incompatible when we are in the moment – or we realize it as an afterthought, after a break-up.

Here are three signs you may not have thought of, that will help you decipher whether or not you are compatible with him:

1. He lets you call him out on his sh*t.

Yes, within reason, he lets you call him out on his wrongdoings. Of course, as women, we may be tempted to get upset over lots of little things, but we must pick our battles. We cannot get upset about everything, but we are allowed to get upset about some things.

If we feel our time is not being respected, our feelings have been hurt, we are being mind f*cked – whatever the reason, if it truly upsets us, we are probably going to call him out.

This means we need a man who will not get defensive or be a prick when he is called out. If he apologizes, is understanding, and sees where you are coming from, he is a keeper.

2. The love languages that matter the most to you are the same love languages he practices the most.

In 1995, Dr. Gary Chapman wrote the book The Five Love Languages and in it, he stated that the five love languages are 1) gifts; 2) quality time; 3) words of affirmation; 4) acts of service; and 5) physical touch.

If you value words of affirmation such as hearing I love you and you are so beautiful from your man, but you do not value acts of service that much – what happens if his way of showing he loves you is by doing things for you, but he’s not big on words of affirmation? This does effect compatibility, however it can be worked out if you discuss it together and let him know which love languages matter the most to you.

3. You feel like you’re good enough for him.

If you don’t feel like you’re good enough for him, it is probably because something he is doing or not doing is not reassuring you of his feelings for you. This will translate into your unfortunate inability to be yourself around him.

If subtle things are missing, leaving you feeling insecure, you’ll find yourself doing strange things like waking up early in the morning to put a touch of makeup on before he wakes up and sees you. This definitely means that the two of you are not compatible.

You’re compatible if he gives you a sense of security and stability, leaving you feeling assured that he is crazy about you.

There are many obvious signs that help us decide if we are compatible with someone, but do not forget about the subtle signs.

Photo courtesy: We Heart It