This article was originally published on the Plentyoffish Blog

Have you ever looked back and wondered what happened to the one that got away? Perhaps you inadvertently sabotaged something wonderful, because you were playing the typical (yet dangerous) dating games. A successful relationship requires two mature participants who know what they want, and are not afraid to go for it. If you don’t want a hot prospect to say “game over”, avoid playing the following 5 dating games to increase your chances of really winning:

1. You Only Want What You Can’t Have
Even if there was great potential, this game can ruin everything. We sometimes tend to ignore someone amazing who is right in front of us, if they’re too available or too interested. Our focus gravitates towards someone unavailable – someone who is hard to get. A cultivated person will wear their heart on their sleeve, and show their interest – so unless you want someone juvenile in your life, avoid this game.

2. You Play Hard To Get
Have you heard the saying “if you play with fire, you’re bound to get burned”? Well if you play it too cool, you could damage things with someone who is too mature for games and doesn’t have the patience for some silly “wait 3 days to text” rule. This person is likely too good to wait around for icy things to defrost.

Most people see right through the hard to get game, and often will leave for someone who is showing more interest and being more open about their feelings. Sometimes you’re simply drawn towards someone who it feels easy and natural with, rather than someone who leaves you wondering.

3. You Try To Evoke Jealousy
Many of us are guilty of this one. We attempt to make someone jealous in an effort to make them want us more. This plan will most likely backfire, for one main reason: it’s not classy. It does not make you look good, so if it is something you have done before, try not to repeat the mistake.

4. You Give Mixed Signals
Nobody likes to be kept guessing or to feel uncertain, especially when they like someone. Usually there are no mixed signals, only a lack of interest. However, one of the most attractive character traits is maturity. A mature and direct person lays it out on the line, providing clarity and a mutual understanding. No matter what it is that you want, you may just find that they are in agreement, and will respect where you are coming from.

5. The Withholding Dance
Whether you are withholding affection, attention, or honesty –  the withholding dance is a momentum killer. If things are going well, you want it to keep going forward to allow for a natural progression. Unless you are indifferent as to whether you lose your chance or not, don’t wait 2 weeks to ask someone out again or act too nonchalant.