It’s perfectly fine to get intimate on the first date, if that’s what you want to do. Many people later marry someone they slept with on the first date. There are far too many implied rules when it comes to sex on the first date, and the trouble is, no two people are the same. If you judge yourself and your desires by a generalized set of rules that only apply to some people, you’re not operating from a place of authenticity. Don’t let social scripts run your life. Instead, make decisions for yourself based on your own true needs and wants.

Not conforming to social scripts makes you an authentic person, a free spirit, and a certain level of ‘awesome’.

If you are wondering whether or not it’s okay to have sex on the first date, rest assured that yes, it absolutely is. However, let’s back up that bold statement with a little reasoning. So, why is it perfectly acceptable to have sex on the first date?

Because you want to test your sexual chemistry and compatibility 

Anyone who doesn’t feel comfortable having sex on the first date shouldn’t do it. One significant problem with waiting, however, is that when that intimate moment finally comes, you may find out you have no sexual chemistry at all. Your wedding night would be an incredibly awkward moment to learn that – so if you want to have sex immediately and test the chemistry between you both, go for it. 

Alright, we know that most of you aren’t planning on waiting until your wedding night, but it’s awkward to find out you have no sexual chemistry after a few weeks as well. Why? Because you’ve already invested all this time and energy, and if having no sexual chemistry is a dealbreaker (which for many people, it is) then you’ve just wasted your time.

Because it’s not up to anyone else to make that decision for you  

Ask yourself this: if you want to have sex on the first date, why should it matter what other people think? The only thing that matters is that you and your sexual partner are both on board, consenting, and excited to explore one another further. As for everyone else, they have no business telling you what to do with your body. 

Because you want to 

Why is it perfectly acceptable to have sex on the first date? Because you want to! Life is way too short to be denying yourself of what you desire just because a set of ‘rules’ have been laid out by society. If you and your date share a connection and you want to have sex on the first date because you’re really feeling it – you go right ahead. Again, so long as you are both consenting.  

Because you secretly prepared for it anyway 

Whether you genuinely plan to have sex on the first date or not, you likely shave your legs, have a little tidy up downstairs and don your finest adult lingerie just in case, so it’s not as though you aren’t prepared. Generally, when we go to all of that effort it is because deep down we are hoping for that undeniable chemistry – and if all goes well and your date is a roaring success, why not treat yourself to what you really want?  

When people prepare themselves down there before a first date, it’s because their true selves are open to sex on the first date.

Because you’ll know where you stand 

Are you anxious that your date will lose interest in you right after they sleep with you? Weed them out! You don’t want to be with that type of person anyway.

If you are worried that your future dates may only want to have sex and then leave, there’s only one way to find out: have sex with them. If you are attracted to your date and you want to have sex, then there should be nothing holding you back. It’s better to quickly determine the other person’s intentions sooner rather than later. Imagine wasting weeks of your time on this person only for them to up and leave as soon as the deed is done? 

The right person for you absolutely will not lose interest in you after sex. The right person won’t judge you for sleeping with them on the first date, either.

Because sex on the first date could strengthen your bond.

Dating a new person can be incredibly awkward – which can also be terribly draining. If you would like to skip all of the games and get down to feeling comfortable with a new interest, then having sex with them is an effective way of going about it.

When you’re intimate with someone in that way, you form a stronger bond with them. Oxytocin (the ‘love’ hormone) gets released, and a more powerful connection can form between the two of you.

Having sex on the first date could bring the two of you closer together.