Several milestones must be reached in order for us to achieve self-actualization. Our life’s milestones will almost always help us grow, or change who we are as a person in some significant way. The positive milestones can do this for us, and so can the negative milestones – but why? Here are 10 of the most important milestones in life and why:

1. Hitting Rock Bottom

Hitting Rock Bottom is the one of the most important milestones in your life (maybe even the most important) because it literally forces you to find different avenues to achieve fulfilment. Some of the most remarkable achievements we make in life are the achievements we made after hitting rock bottom, because we were determined to lift ourselves back up – and we finally had the drive to do so. If we are able to be resilient and turn the negativity in our lives into motivation to make a change, we will be on the road to success in no time. This is why it’s better to hit rock bottom sooner rather than later.

If I had never hit rock bottom, I would never be where I am today. Of course, at the time it felt like the world was crashing down all around me. I had never felt so alone or so hopeless. However; looking back on it I realized that hitting rock bottom was the best thing that ever happened to me, because of who it forced me to become – and how it forced me to reinvent myself.

2. Falling in Love

Falling in love is the closest thing we have to real magic. The wondering feeling of contentment we have when we meet that special someone is worth the wait – even if it feels like it took forever to get there.

 3. Getting Your Heart Broken For The First Time

I wish I could go back in time and tell my crying self that everything was going to be ok – because everything will always be ok. Time heals all wounds, and you were obviously meant to be with someone else. Always remember the unknown quote that has gone viral on Instagram: “one day someone will walk into your life, and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else”.  To quote Greg Behrendt, “It’s called a breakup because it’s broken” and rather than trying to fix it, we should be focusing on achieving self-actualization and reinforcing core values within ourselves. Why? Because that’s what must be done before we will be ready to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right.  

4. Realizing What You Are Passionate About

Realizing your passion is one of the most important milestones for achieving self-actualization. Sometimes, like a light bulb, it is realized when we least expect it. People always say they are attracted to people who are passionate about something. Nobody wants to be vanilla – having a passion is sexy. The problem is, sometimes we don’t know what our passion is. Is it music? Teaching? Soccer? Writing? What if you are not sure? One of the greatest milestones in life is the moment you realize what your passion is.  

5. Getting Fired From Your Job For The First Time

It will feel like your life is over, and you sometimes forget that everything happens for a reason. You must be destined for bigger and better things, and that’s why the universe is pushing you in another direction. If there are any lessons you can learn from the experience, make sure to take them with you to your next job. Not only will you not make the same mistakes again, but you will use what you learned at the job you lost as a means to propel you into success. You learn what to do and what not to do, how not to piss your boss off, and how to be the best employee you can be. The next thing you know, you’re being promoted or being offered your dream job elsewhere.  

6. Getting The Job of Your Dreams

Bigger than graduating and getting your first real job, the milestone of landing your dream job is a big one. You will feel like you are on a high when you achieve this milestone – and you should be proud of yourself! It is extremely difficult to make an HR Manager’s short-list, extremely difficult to get an interview – and you made it to the very end, and were offered the job! Go you!  

7. Losing  A Close Friend

Sometimes, friends fight. And sometimes, you lose a close friend – for good. Losing someone close to you is an important milestone because it forces you to take a step back and reevaluate yourself and your character. Are you a good friend? And if not, maybe this experience forced you to become one. Learning how to be a good friend is very important. Either way, once you put things in perspective you might get your friend back later on, down the road.

8. Getting Married

Now you have found another best friend. Your husband, wife, or partner. You will always have someone who you can talk to about anything. Someone will always care how your day was, and want to know every exciting detail of what happens in your life. You will have someone who will witness your life and be there supporting you every step of the way. You have someone to build a life with, and that is an incredible milestone. Marriage isn’t for everyone, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a pivotal moment in some people’s lives.

9. Becoming a Parent

Becoming a parent is not only a new chapter in your life, it’s a whole new book. Guiding someone else through life and teaching them all about the mistakes you made in your adolescence – and what the consequences were – helps you get a do-over in a sense. You’re giving to your child everything you have, every bit of advice you wish you had gotten, and more.  can’t say much more since I am not yet a mother, but maybe one day I’ll have more to share on the topic!  

10. Buying Your First Home

This is an incredible milestone. Moving out of your parent’s home and into your own apartment for the first time is a big one too, but buying your first home is huge. Not only has all your budgeting and saving paid off, but you finally have a place you can truly call your own. You can decorate it however you want, you have a sense of security, and an asset. You are no longer throwing a ton of money down the drain every month in rent!

Erica Gordon is the author of the popular new dating advice book Aren’t You Glad You Read This? The Complete How-To Guide for Singles with a History of Failed Relationships Who Want their Next Relationship to Succeed, available for only $4.99 on Amazon, iBooks and on PDF here.